Being a freshie Isko

Q: Ano ang pinakamasayang parte ng pagiging isang UP student? (What is the most exciting or the happiest part in a life of a UP student?)

A: Siguro yung pagkatuto hindi lamang sa loob ng paaralan, kundi maging sa labas nito. Kahit na freshie pa lang ako, halos tumitirik na ang mga mata ko sa mga isyung kinakaharap ng UP at ng lipunang kinagagalawan natin. Pero okey lang yun, sa katunayan kapag may nababasa o nakikita akong mga isyu through campus newspaper (at sa mga rallies sa labas ng college namin at maging sa social media), I get to discuss them with my parents (sa wakas, may napapag-usapan na kaming matino). Siguro nagkaroon na rin ng pagbabago sa mga pananaw ko at naging mas open-minded ako. Masaya rin yung nakipamuhay kami sa mga marginalized communities (at saka yung welcoming ambiance nila) at alamin ang tunay na kalagayan ng ating mga kababayan.
Well, dahil freshie pa lang ako, for sure marami pa akong matututunan at mararanasan sa loob ng pamantasan na alam kong di ko makukuha kung mas pinili ko ang ibang unibersidad.

(Maybe learning not only in the four corners of a classroom, but also outside it. Even though I am still a freshman, my eyes are already on wheels and weary as I encountered the issues concerning the University and the society we dwell in. But that’s all right, in fact, whenever I read or see issues through campus newspapers (and through rallies and mass demonstrations outside our college, and even at the social media), I get to discuss them with my parents (finally, we got something to talk about seriously). Probably my views had undergone changes and I became more open-minded. The fact that we lived just like those people from marginalized communities even only for a few days (and also their welcoming ambiance) and that knowing the true and unmasked condition of our countrymen made me very grateful.
Well, since I am still a freshman, for sure I still have more things to learn and experience inside the University which I know I won’t have any opportunity to get or attain if I chose other universities.)



First heartbreak and lessons

My answer here sums all the lessons I had learned after such heartbreak. This question was answered with seriousness and honesty.

Q: What are your realizations after your first heartbreak? How did these realizations make you a better individual?

A: Wow, this question is a difficult one.

The first thing I had come to realize was how I redefined love. For once, I believed that love conquers all. But I myself proved that my belief towards love was not true at all times. Love in fact does not and will never conquer all, and sometimes, love desires for two different souls to conquer everything in its behalf. I said this primarily because I wasn’t able to do what love first gave as a condition, that two individuals must meet halfway and have a sort of mutual feelings and understanding. At the beginning, I thought that the feeling was mutual, but then it was all my assumption. Yes, I indeed had a hard time to convince myself with the reality I had seen and yet, it remained as that.

Love, since it is an abstract idea, has gone through many complexities, thus making my perception of love deeper and clearer. I finally understood that I was there, loving unrequitedly, waiting for at least a miracle to happen. Finally, I grasped the truth that the love, that had spread through the corners of my heart, cannot surmount the trials given by the agents of time, people, environment, and even by love itself, because I was the only soul who loved and sought for the reciprocation of the other.

Just like in the relationship of a lump of soil and a tree, both of these things must be compatible with each other, and if not, they cannot survive even a single storm. The idea of asking someone to love us back is not as easy as frying an egg, but if we succeed, there will always be an assurance that the foundation that the love of two different individuals has built will be concrete rather than abstract. Honestly, I didn’t give up until such time I accepted my defeat. But when he started liking someone, I said to myself, “Ah, he maybe deserves someone better. Maybe I wasn’t good enough.” But I realized that I don’t have to blame myself each and every day for not becoming good enough and that people loved me even if I can’t prove anything.

I realized that we cannot be with each other, just as he said long before.

And I realized that even though I kept on fighting, I was like striking the wind; my efforts were indeed useless. The second condition of love, which is “to make two different souls conquer everything,” was never met.

Well, I guess I became better since I already knew the knowledge of how fool I am when I fall in love … and yeah at least the pain it had brought me made me stronger and wiser than who I am before.